A SILENT TRAGEDY

There is a silent tragedy that is unfolding today in our homes, and concerns our most precious jewels: our children. Our children are in a devastating emotional state! In the last 15 years, researchers have given us increasingly alarming statistics on a sharp and steady increase in childhood mental illness that is now reaching epidemic proportions:

Statistics do not lie:

  • 1 in 5 children have mental health problems
  • A 43% increase in ADHD has been noted
  • A 37% increase in adolescent depression has been noted
  • There has been a 200% increase in the suicide rate in children aged 10 to 14

What is happening and what are we doing wrong?

Today’s children are being over-stimulated and over-gifted with material objects, but they are deprived of the fundamentals of a healthy childhood, such as:

  • Emotionally available parents
  • Clearly defined limits
  • Responsibilities
  • Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep
  • Movement in general but especially outdoors
  • Creative play, social interaction, unstructured game opportunities and boredom spaces

Instead, in recent years, children have been filled with:

  • Digitally distracted parents
  • Indulgent and permissive parents who let children “rule the world” and whoever sets the rules
  • A sense of right, of deserving everything without earning it or being responsible for obtaining it
a silent tragedy
  • Inadequate sleep and unbalanced nutrition
  • A sedentary lifestyle
  • Endless stimulation, technological nannies, instant gratification and absence of boring moments

What to do?

If we want our children to be happy and healthy individuals, we have to wake up and get back to basics. It is still possible! Many families see immediate improvements after weeks of implementing the following recommendations:

  • Set limits and remember that you are the captain of the ship. Your children will feel more confident knowing that you have control of the helm.
  • Offer children a balanced lifestyle full of what children NEED, not just what they WANT. Don’t be afraid to say “no” to your children if what they want is not what they need.
  • Provide nutritious food and limit junk food.
  • Spend at least one hour a day outdoors doing activities such as: cycling, walking, fishing, bird / insect watching
  • Enjoy a daily family dinner without smartphones or distracting technology.
  • Play board games as a family or if children are very small for board games, get carried away by their interests and allow them to rule in the game.
  • Involve your children in some homework or household chores according to their age (folding clothes, ordering toys, hanging clothes, unpacking food, setting the table, feeding the dog etc.)
  • Implement a consistent sleep routine to ensure your child gets enough sleep. The schedules will be even more important for school-age children.
  • Teach responsibility and independence. Do not overprotect them against all frustration or mistakes. Misunderstanding will help them build resilience and learn to overcome life’s challenges.
  • Do not carry your children’s backpack, do not carry their backpacks, do not carry the homework they forgot, do not peel bananas or peel oranges if they can do it on their own (4-5 years). Instead of giving them the fish, teach them to fish.
  • Teach them to wait and delay gratification.
  • Provide opportunities for “boredom”, since boredom is the moment when creativity awakens. Do not feel responsible for always keeping children entertained.
  • Do not use technology as a cure for boredom, nor offer it at the first second of inactivity.
  • Avoid using technology during meals, in cars, restaurants, shopping centers. Use these moments as opportunities to socialize by training the brains to know how to work when they are in mode: “boredom”
  • Help them create a “bottle of boredom” with activity ideas for when they are bored.
  • Be emotionally available to connect with children and teach them self-regulation and social skills.
  • Turn off the phones at night when children have to go to bed to avoid digital distraction.
  • Become a regulator or emotional trainer for your children. Teach them to recognize and manage their own frustrations and anger.
  • Teach them to greet, to take turns, to share without running out of anything, to say thank you and please, to acknowledge the error and apologize (do not force them), be a model of all those values ​​you instill.
  • Connect emotionally – smile, hug, kiss, tickle, read, dance, jump, play or crawl with them.

Article written by Dr. Luis Rojas Marcos Psychiatrist.

Emergency and help lines

Anxiety
Name
Description

Anxiety phone line – 0800 269 4389 (0800 ANXIETY)

Mental Health Crisis Helpline
Description

Mental Health Crisis Helpline - 0800 800 717

Depression
Description

Depression and anxiety affects us all differently.
Free 24/7 Helpline: 0800 111 757 Text 4202

Website Address
Lifeline
Description

Lifeline – 0800 543 354 or (09) 5222 999 within Auckland

Youthline
Description

Youthline – 0800 376 633, free text 234 or email talk@youthline.co.nz or online chat

Samaritans
Description

Whatever you're going through, call us any time on 0800 726 666.

Website Address
Suicide Crisis Helpline
Description

Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
What's Up – 0800 942 8787 (for 5–18 year olds).
Phone counselling is available Monday to Friday, midday–11pm and weekends, 3pm–11pm. Online chat is available 7pm–10pm daily.

Kidsline
Description

Kidsline – 0800 54 37 54 (0800 kidsline) for young people up to 18 years of age. Open 24/7.

Sexuality or gender identity helpline
Description

thelowdown.co.nz – Phone: 0800 111 757 or email team@thelowdown.co.nz or free text 5626

Website Address
Supporting Families in Mental Illness
Description

Supporting Families in Mental Illness - 0800 732 825.

Mental health services – Ministry of Health
Description

We all face challenges to our mental health at various times in our lives. The way we’re feeling can change how we think and how we deal with tough times.

There’s a range of resources and services available to help including phone and online services and information, as well as face-to-face support.

Most services are free and provide information and confidential advice from trained professionals. There's also information for family, whānau, or friends if they need advice and support.

If you’re told that there is a waiting time for a service, please still reach out and make contact. Other supports can be put in place – ask what you can try in the meantime.

 

Helplines for children and young people

Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time to talk to a trained counsellor.

To talk to a trained counsellor 24/7 call the Depression helpline – 0800 111 757.

To get help from a registered nurse 24/7 call Healthline – 0800 611 116.

Youthline – 0800 376 633, free text 234 or email talk@youthline.co.nz or online chat.

What's Up  – 0800 942 8787, (for 5–18-year-olds). Phone counselling is available Monday to Friday, 1 pm–10 pm and on weekends, 3 pm–10 pm. Online chat is available from 7 pm–10 pm daily.

Website Address